Let me start off by saying:
Finding out I was pregnant was super scary. I’m still 20 years old (oct 3rd i’ll be 21!!) and living my best life, traveling, smoking weed, enjoying my life & my 20’s. Until I found out I was pregnant. Every single thing changed. When I found out I was pregnant it was like the world stopped, time slowed, and shit became real.
I was scared shitless. Me having a baby?! I’m t w e n t y years old. I can barely take care of myself. I can’t save money!? I can cook and clean, yay me! But my dreams aren’t accomplished yet, MY goals aren’t accomplished yet. I’m still in college, I still haven’t had my first legal drink, what is happening? Am I ready? Oh I debated this for weeks.
I knew in my head since finding out I was pregnant in April I wouldn’t abort because 1. I scared myself into it & 2. my boyfriend (now husband) was okay with keeping it or not keeping it. I thank him for being there to calm me down & be my support (but I mean did he even have a choice? lol)
How I found out you’re probably wondering? Cleaning my room . I call it spring cleaning I love to clean my room top to bottom every other week or so, found a pregnancy test – was gonna take it as a joke because we had been trying for monthsssssssssssssss & NOTHING happened. So I said outloud mainly to myself: ” i’m gonna take the test then smoke a blunt ” excuse my blunt-ness (hehe) but it’s the truth. The stick showed pregnant I got off the toilet so quickly, ran to the room & facetime’d my boyfriend (now husband) * for the sake of the post i’ll call him boyfriend for now * I showed him the test & he was on his way to work & couldn’t stop smiling.. me? crying my life away.
I wasn’t ready, I was scared to be a mom.
But, I decided after the second dr visit I would keep it. This was MY human.
Here’s the first two pictures I ever took after finding out I was pregnant:
I guess I was doing a little too much considering I did not even know if I was 4 weeks however, I had a feeling I was. I was 6 days late on my period (however that was typical) and figured somehow someway we did the deed in the ending of March that made alll of this a reality. My reality of it all. It was true. Come to the realization a few days later, I was actually 4 weeks.
A book I immediately bought: what to expect when you are expecting & their app in the iphone appstore, which ended up connecting me with the December 2018 mom’s group.. holy shit did I feel confused but did not realize this was ONLY the beginning of my journey