daily thoughts

Thoughts (Jan/25?!)

January 25 thoughts πŸ’­

Time I start: 2:58 am

Me this morning (more like afternoon but we will get to that) .. let’s just say I might make another one soon.

– So today, or well yesterday considering it is past 12am. ..

( random side note:: sometimes I write like I speak so I’m sorry (but not really) anyways, some people consider it “today” until they fall asleep and wake up so to each it’s own if you are one of those or vise versa!)

WELLL…. if I start by telling you about yesterday/today, whatever it is, you will be confused.

SOO,

Life update: Had a baby girl, still live with my parents. Jan 2019 – present day – still live with my parents. We need to move out, soo we have been looking at apartments to move out to so we can finally have our own space. We have been saving and plan on moving out in the middle of february so * fingers crossed *! We are in no rush to move out (as in) no one is kicking us out we just think it’s best.

Anyways, now that you know all that!!

so back to 1/25/2018 (see what I did there? ;!

So yesterday I took Damian (aka Hubby from now on bc I never call him Damian unless I’m really mad so it’s a little weird) to work, well more like he drove himself, then I drove back home for 1 hr. NO the baby did not come with us, if you’re wondering. (I was lol πŸ˜‚) She was home with grandma. As soon as I got home my little baby was being a little bit cranky so I had to put her to bed and then try to sleep but I couldn’t. Instead of being smart and going to make myself breakfast I decided to watch youtube videos and browse social media and read until I eventually took a nap for 1 hr until baby woke up for feeding time.

THEN, we got to pick up dad(aka Hubby) from work at 3pm so I had to get up and do adult things like clean up a little bit, make sure we have everything to go. I was super nervous the whole time due to the fact that I had never driven alone with the baby, and there I was driving 40 minutes to pick up hubby! (proud mom moment) Afterwards, we went to go look at an apartment near an area we both hated, so we never went inside because:

1. It’s cold out

2. The baby was with us

3. Waste of time to see an apartment in an area we hated.

Ws a result, we left and went to another apartment. In my opinion, the other apartment we went to was decent and I only say that because of the huge backyard but other than that I’d have to remodel basically the whole place just to feel comfortable being there. Tiny stove and only a sink and nothing else. I was like how are we cutting veggies/fruits and seasoning out meat.. we can’t. Then the realtor told us she had another place so we all went over there and that place was nice. However, it had only 2 closets.

Now, I know what you are thinking ” oh she must have so much clothes.” Fun fact: I don’t. My baby girl and my hubby do, I don’t. I need atleast 3 closets due to the fact it’s 3 of us so we can atleast put all our belongings in our own closets.

Anyways, after that we went home and began to wind down from the day,

I began fixing up the room a little bit, hubby was feeding baby and then afterwards he went to sleep. At 11pm he went to sleep and I realized after today, he will be working 2 jobs.. he will be gone from 5:30-10:30 every single day except his 2 days off a week.. I’m gonna miss him.

The worst part is, I don’t think he even knows how much I’m gonna miss him. I relied on him coming home at 4pm mainly because i’m tired and stressed over the baby because usually she’s cranky and overtired and he comes in like captain super dad or something & saves the day all while still making me smile and forget the stress. It’s stressful taking care of a baby, especially a needy-I want to be all over you 24/7- baby.

However, I look forward to my best friend coming home. I look forward to seeing him come home in his work uniform and he smells like engines ( he works with airplanes btw!) even when I make a comment on how he smells, he doesn’t realize it’s my favorite scent. I love his scent. I love when we hug, because the simple embrace makes me happy. I get to feel his skin and sometimes it feels like he has goosebumps all over and sometimes his skin feels so soft that either way I still love to touch him and feel the way his skin feels that day. Truthfully, I miss having someone to talk to, having him come at 10:30/11pm or even 11:30pm to wake up at 4am makes me sad, he’s husting for our family. Working 2 jobs to get us out of the place we are at now, our own space so I can decorate it however I want. It won’t last forever I know it will only be for a couple of months but I will definitely miss him more than he knows.

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