I’ve been wondering how to start this but I truly and honestly have no idea. So I’m going to be as raw and as transparent as possible.
If you haven’t read my birth story please read that first.
^ click and read.
Continuing, then they proceeded to give me the go-ahead to take out the catheter but, I had to pee within the next few hours.. (wtf?!? I just had surgery!?) so I said okay. I started to drink water (partially due to being thirsty) and then hubs wheeled me down to the NICU to FINALLY go see my baby at around 12am.After holding her for 15 minutes I needed to pump because I was leaking.The last paragraph of my birth story for remembrance and also continuation.
This was the begining of 2 week NICU Journey.
On November 1st, 2018, (well more like November 2) we were with her from around 1am until about 4am that night. Holding her. She had iv in her little hand with a board to hold her hand so she won’t pull it. She was also connected to the CPAP and also had a tube in her mouth. It broke my heart. I cried so much all the time because I blamed myself. What did I do wrong? They ran some tests in the NICU to see why she came out earlier and they did not know so they had to wait 48hrs for another test to see if that’s the reason she was born earlier (bacteria).
– THE NEXT DAY: NOVEMBER 2 –
I woke up in pain, asked for tylenol or motrin and they gave it to me. I pumped because I genuinely wanted to give my baby the milk my body was wanting to provide for the baby. We unfortunately could not breast feed because of all the tubes ( and I personally did not want to because i felt cow-ish). I pumped and was maintaining a good supply for her to take considering she was taking less than 2 ounces by tube. I felt confident but I was in pain due to the c-section. Many family members came bearing a lot of stuffed animals. I loved all the stuffs but was nervous to bring them home because of Vito (update:he hasn’t eaten them they are put away in a box). Afterwards, we went to see Zoey and how she was doing. We once again skin-to-skin and it was a beautiful time. The tests came back and they couldn’t find any reason why she was born early.
*ps happy bday dad*
– NOVEMBER 3 –
Baby Zoey and I were still in the hospital. I kept going to see Zoey and seeing whoever was coming to see Zoey & I.
Update on Zoey: She was trialed off CPAP to see if she can breathe on her own without assistance. She was also fed through the tube every 3 hours and we also got to do skin-to-skin with her. (Hubs & I kept switching to do skin-to-skin
-November 4 –
I was still in the hospital but was leaving that day. Unfortunately, my little Zoey was not.
This is when everything got really intense for me which is why I feel like it makes me feel a little “off” sometimes. (LET’S CONTINUE)
Imagine this scenario: You carry your baby until 35 weeks. You all of a sudden loose your plug and your water breaks, you go to the hospital assuming they will just put you on bed rest but instead they admit you. Put you in L&D and give you pitocin to keep you from not dilating. You get trapped in the hospital for 3 days before you end up having your baby by emergency C-SECTION because she was breech (head up feet & butt down) (what is a birth plan?!?) then stuck for another 2-3 days only to go home without your baby. That is traumatic.
Someone in the hospital told Hubs and I about the Ronald McDonald House and if it wasn’t for them I would have been an extremely crying mess. We weren’t able to get in that day, but thankfully 2 days later we were able to be there. (It was steps away from the hospital and our hospital had 24/7 access with a special band).
Zoey Update: They decided to increase her feeds to 10 mL. We found out that after 12 hours she failed the CPAP so they were going to try again the next day.
We went to the hospital and got things ready for the baby that we needed to get. We spent so much time with her at the hospital because it made me nervous to leave her in the hospital because I wanted her to be home with me. I missed her so much.
ZOEY UPDATE: She was trialed again off of C-PAP . They increased her feeds to 20mL. They took her out of the isolate and put her in a crib! This was such an exciting day. (In fact, every single day was so exciting because she was growing)
-November 6 –
We ended up getting into the Ronald McDonald House which is right next to the hospital! It is REALLY NICE. I am the type of person who feels nervous because in other environments. Hubs is not. He was going downstairs getting water and cooking and coffee. Me? I was eating at the hospital because I was too prideful I guess.
Zoey Update: Increased feeds to 30mL. Trying to ween off feeding tube but unsuccessful.
Zoey Penelope turned 1 week old in the hospital. I was spending day and night in the hospital. Rarely sleeping at the Ronald McDonald house. (I said I was nervous she was in the hospital & I’m a FTM don’t judge). I took advantage sometimes don’t get me wrong that she was in the hospital. But I missed her. I wanted to enjoy her little self. She was so fascinating to me (And still is) but I knew she had to be there even though it made me sad. However, on November 11th, she was finally done with her feeding tube! She finally took her feeds for 24 hours and I was so proud cause that meant 1 more step closer to coming home. She was taking in 42 mL feeds.
-November 12 –
Today was the day of the carseat check. She had to sit in the carseat for 90 minutes. If she can breathe fine then she passes, if not she fails. Unfortunately, she failed today after only 30 minutes. She is add-lib on her feeds and will go home 11/14 if she can pass the test. I stayed with her all night holding her because I was sad she wasn’t home yet. I truly wanted to go home already.
-November 13 –
They did the car seat testing the morning (Without me being present). They called me around 10am (?maybe?) and told me that the nurse who did the carseat check did it wrong and I had actually passed and they did it again today and she passed. So technically, she passed 2 times. They told me she was able to come home today if I wanted her to come home 1 day early.
INSTANTLY TEARS STARTED FLOWING!! My baby girl is finally coming home after 2 very long weeks. 35 weeks and 3 days in my belly and 2 weeks in this world and she is finally coming home where she belongs. We did not pick her up however until late at night because although we were excited we had NO preemie diapers, nothing truly set up for a preemie. So we had to get things and eat lunch because we forgot to eat a LOT during those 13 days. We also had to check out of the Ronald McDonald House and put our stuff back home and get her ready for the arrival.
Night time rolled around and we went back to the hospital to pick her up. We put her in the car, I sat in the backseat, and she was ready to go home to start her new journey with us. This is when parenthood got REALLY REAL For us.
My baby girl graduated the NICU after 13 long days.
She accomplished so many things. From being fed via tube to being fed through a bottle successfully, to upping her feeds from 2 mL to 42mL, to getting out of her isolate and into a crib, coming off of cPAP, gaining weight, and passing her car seat test!