LIFE IN NICU

I’ve been wondering how to start this but I truly and honestly have no idea. So I’m going to be as raw and as transparent as possible.
If you haven’t read my birth story please read that first.
https://nuomb.com/2019/02/13/the-day-my-life-changed-forever/ 
^ click and read.

Continuing, then they proceeded to give me the go-ahead to take out the catheter but, I had to pee within the next few hours.. (wtf?!? I just had surgery!?) so I said okay. I started to drink water (partially due to being thirsty) and then hubs wheeled me down to the NICU to FINALLY go see my baby at around 12am.After holding her for 15 minutes I needed to pump because I was leaking.
This was the begining of 2 week NICU Journey.

The last paragraph of my birth story for remembrance and also continuation.

On November 1st, 2018, (well more like November 2) we were with her from around 1am until about 4am that night. Holding her. She had iv in her little hand with a board to hold her hand so she won’t pull it. She was also connected to the CPAP and also had a tube in her mouth. It broke my heart. I cried so much all the time because I blamed myself. What did I do wrong? They ran some tests in the NICU to see why she came out earlier and they did not know so they had to wait 48hrs for another test to see if that’s the reason she was born earlier (bacteria).

– THE NEXT DAY: NOVEMBER 2 –
I woke up in pain, asked for tylenol or motrin and they gave it to me. I pumped because I genuinely wanted to give my baby the milk my body was wanting to provide for the baby. We unfortunately could not breast feed because of all the tubes ( and I personally did not want to because i felt cow-ish). I pumped and was maintaining a good supply for her to take considering she was taking less than 2 ounces by tube. I felt confident but I was in pain due to the c-section. Many family members came bearing a lot of stuffed animals. I loved all the stuffs but was nervous to bring them home because of Vito (update:he hasn’t eaten them they are put away in a box). Afterwards, we went to see Zoey and how she was doing. We once again skin-to-skin and it was a beautiful time. The tests came back and they couldn’t find any reason why she was born early.
*ps happy bday dad*

– NOVEMBER 3 –
Baby Zoey and I were still in the hospital. I kept going to see Zoey and seeing whoever was coming to see Zoey & I.
Update on Zoey: She was trialed off CPAP to see if she can breathe on her own without assistance. She was also fed through the tube every 3 hours and we also got to do skin-to-skin with her. (Hubs & I kept switching to do skin-to-skin

-November 4 –
I was still in the hospital but was leaving that day. Unfortunately, my little Zoey was not.
This is when everything got really intense for me which is why I feel like it makes me feel a little “off” sometimes. (LET’S CONTINUE)
Imagine this scenario: You carry your baby until 35 weeks. You all of a sudden loose your plug and your water breaks, you go to the hospital assuming they will just put you on bed rest but instead they admit you. Put you in L&D and give you pitocin to keep you from not dilating. You get trapped in the hospital for 3 days before you end up having your baby by emergency C-SECTION because she was breech (head up feet & butt down) (what is a birth plan?!?) then stuck for another 2-3 days only to go home without your baby. That is traumatic.
Someone in the hospital told Hubs and I about the Ronald McDonald House and if it wasn’t for them I would have been an extremely crying mess. We weren’t able to get in that day, but thankfully 2 days later we were able to be there. (It was steps away from the hospital and our hospital had 24/7 access with a special band).
Zoey Update: They decided to increase her feeds to 10 mL. We found out that after 12 hours she failed the CPAP so they were going to try again the next day.

-November 5-
We went to the hospital and got things ready for the baby that we needed to get. We spent so much time with her at the hospital because it made me nervous to leave her in the hospital because I wanted her to be home with me. I missed her so much.
ZOEY UPDATE: She was trialed again off of C-PAP . They increased her feeds to 20mL. They took her out of the isolate and put her in a crib! This was such an exciting day. (In fact, every single day was so exciting because she was growing)

-November 6 –
We ended up getting into the Ronald McDonald House which is right next to the hospital! It is REALLY NICE. I am the type of person who feels nervous because in other environments. Hubs is not. He was going downstairs getting water and cooking and coffee. Me? I was eating at the hospital because I was too prideful I guess.
Zoey Update: Increased feeds to 30mL. Trying to ween off feeding tube but unsuccessful.

-November 7-11-
Zoey Penelope turned 1 week old in the hospital. I was spending day and night in the hospital. Rarely sleeping at the Ronald McDonald house. (I said I was nervous she was in the hospital & I’m a FTM don’t judge). I took advantage sometimes don’t get me wrong that she was in the hospital. But I missed her. I wanted to enjoy her little self. She was so fascinating to me (And still is) but I knew she had to be there even though it made me sad. However, on November 11th, she was finally done with her feeding tube! She finally took her feeds for 24 hours and I was so proud cause that meant 1 more step closer to coming home. She was taking in 42 mL feeds.

-November 12 –
Today was the day of the carseat check. She had to sit in the carseat for 90 minutes. If she can breathe fine then she passes, if not she fails. Unfortunately, she failed today after only 30 minutes. She is add-lib on her feeds and will go home 11/14 if she can pass the test. I stayed with her all night holding her because I was sad she wasn’t home yet. I truly wanted to go home already.

-November 13 –
They did the car seat testing the morning (Without me being present). They called me around 10am (?maybe?) and told me that the nurse who did the carseat check did it wrong and I had actually passed and they did it again today and she passed. So technically, she passed 2 times. They told me she was able to come home today if I wanted her to come home 1 day early.

INSTANTLY TEARS STARTED FLOWING!! My baby girl is finally coming home after 2 very long weeks. 35 weeks and 3 days in my belly and 2 weeks in this world and she is finally coming home where she belongs. We did not pick her up however until late at night because although we were excited we had NO preemie diapers, nothing truly set up for a preemie. So we had to get things and eat lunch because we forgot to eat a LOT during those 13 days. We also had to check out of the Ronald McDonald House and put our stuff back home and get her ready for the arrival.

Night time rolled around and we went back to the hospital to pick her up. We put her in the car, I sat in the backseat, and she was ready to go home to start her new journey with us. This is when parenthood got REALLY REAL For us.

My baby girl graduated the NICU after 13 long days.
She accomplished so many things. From being fed via tube to being fed through a bottle successfully, to upping her feeds from 2 mL to 42mL, to getting out of her isolate and into a crib, coming off of cPAP, gaining weight, and passing her car seat test!

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BABY SHOWER 09/30/18

I decided while pregnant with Zoey to plan my whole baby shower by myself. I know it’s not traditional to plan your own but I wanted it my way. I’m not saying that I was not stressed out for 3 months about the party because I bitterly had no ideas for a baby shower especially my own. So I did some digging, I eventually came up with an airplane there, “All the places she’ll go” also including “it’s a girl” decor because nothing else made me excited and it was easy to incorporate with my travel theme. Hubs and I love to travel so I figured it’d be a cute theme to include hubs. I loved my baby shower.
However, leading up to that day was absolutely nuts. We didn’t have everything we needed so we needed to still buy things up until Saturday Night. Hubs & I spent all night making so many desserts AND I HAD TO DYE MY HAIR! We had 4 hours of sleep until Sunday (The day of the baby shower). Sunday morning we had to load everything into the cars and set up for the baby shower (hubs, my brother, and I) thankfully people came to help so it got done quickly. However, when 2pm came for the party I needed to go home and get ready so hubs and I quickly got ready and went back to our party! I had a blast! However, I wish my awkwardness and anti-socialness did not get in the way because I wish I didn’t let hubs do all the “hosting” and let myself speak as well because I did plan the whole thing. However, I had an amazing time and it truly ended so quickly which made me so sad. I am glad that Zoey, Damian, and I have a huge support system of love around us.

Enjoy some pictures of my baby shower:

PREGNANCY SERIES: 2ND TRIMESTER=BETTER TRIMESTER

PREGNANCY:

2ND TRIMESTER EDITION:

DAY WE FOUND OUT WHAT BABY WAS: July 7, 2018! 
Baby NAVAS is a……………… GIRL!!!!!!!!

Day we made our registry: July 8, 2018
Where we made our registry: Buy Buy Baby! 
First time we felt baby kick: July 22,2018!!!!
Day I POPPED?!:  July 21, 2018
HER NAME: Zoey Penelope Navas!
Meaning?! Zoey means LIFE in “Greek” however, I feel like her name is more spanish-y if that makes sense? That’s what I really wanted tbh.
HER DUE DATE: expected: december 16, 2017
MY SIGN: LIBRA
HER SIGN: Sagirrarius
HUSBANDS SIGN: Virgo
Fun fact about signs: apparently baby girl & I are super compatible and her & her father are not so this will be fun >:)
HOSPITAL SHE WILL BE BORN AT: Katz Women’s hospital @ long island jewish medical center!
BABY SHOWER DATE/TIME: SEPT 30 1:30-7PM (This is happening in the beginning of the 3rd trimester & I CAN NOT WAITT! (But I will keep shut about it for now mwahahaha)
EXTRASSSSS: To be completely real & all TMI’s aside: I went from a 32b to a 32DD/32DDD! hellooooooo booobiessssss
CRAVINGS?!?!!??!: diet coke, martha’s bakery red velvet cake slice, tuna sandwiches, wings, 

SIZES DURING THE 2nd TRIMESTER:
(Based of Fruits & Vegetables & my opinions of each fruit/veggie):

WEEK 14: PEACH (YUM) *Start of 4mnth
WEEK 15: APPLE (yum)
WEEK 16: Avocado (Also yummy 4 guacamoleee)
WEEK 17:  ONION (yummy for pico de gallo)
WEEK 18: Artichoke (aka start of 5th month) (never tried)
WEEK 19: Mango (This is yummy but hated in my 1st trimester)
WEEK 20: Banana (NOT A FAN) (HALFWAY!!!!!) WOOHOOO
WEEK 21: Carrot 

WEEK 22: Papaya 
Week 23: Egg plant
Week 24: Ear of corn (6 MONTHS!!)  AKA 15 WKS LEFT?!
Week 25: Acorn squash
Week 26: Zucchini

REFLECTIONS:

Week 19- The week I popped. I was super nervous because I was not gaining a single pound and I was eating so much I didn’t understand, but when I popped omg I was super excited!! This was also the week I felt you kick for the first time and I actually cried (I hope my husband does not see this because he *might* make fun of me)! Feeling her kick made me even more excited to meet her and spend time with her and I’m just here patiently waiting to meet my princess.

Week 20- Anatomy scan = stubborn baby = ugh.
Baby girl is SOO stubborn. Sonogram tech couldn’t measure all her parts and we sat in the room for over an hour, I even did jumping jacks and all those weird exercise-y things I never thought I would do just so she could move, but I got no luck. I was a little frustrated but I got super excited to see you and see you again in 2 weeks. I got to see your face and your feet and OMG her feet are so cute I can not stand it. I am obsessed with her feetttttt!!!!! Baby girls heartbeat is measuring at 133 as they say “a healthy heartbeat!” I got weighed today and I gained 6lbs (I weighed in at 134!) I was so happy to have gained 6 lbs because I thought I was not gaining a single pound even though I was eating so much. They told me baby weighs 12ounces which is basically 1 pound right? (I’m horrible at math) so yay! You’re growing and you’re super active even the sono tech. felt you kick! I love your kicks!

Week 22-24- Only 2 more weeks till the end of my second trimester!! Super scary to think we are almost done with this and in a few more weeks/months I will be a MOM. My life completely changed, my mindset changed, and i’m super excited yet super nervous to meet baby girl. At 22wks when we went back for the 2nd anatomy scan you weighed 1 pound 1 ounce which I found out at 23wks+5days when we went back to the doctor (prenatal visits). However, they told us that baby was breech. She stays in the “frank breech position” which basically means her feet are always by her face and so are her hands. It is freaking me out a little because she is always like that in all our doctors appointments but I have the confidence she will move because I am super scared to get a c-section. i just want to have an epidural-free birth (Yes I plan to have a natural unmedicated birth) (fun fact about melaine?! she HATES needles) You are such an active baby so I have no worries that you will not move esp because I will stand on my head if I have to if it will make you move! I’m super excited to meet baby Zoey already and just know you are one spoiled baby because you have so much stuff! Yesterday or two days ago i bought a diaper bag and her hospital bag is already packed (am i crazy?!)!

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I’m also planning my own d-i-y- baby shower so this is super exciting and super personal for me because I really wanted to do that since the beginning and I love how everything is coming together and I can not wait to be able to share the special day with all my friends + family and eventually post about it on my blog! 

Pictures:

Pregnancy Series: My journey (pt.1) The beginning

Let me start off by saying:

Finding out I was pregnant was super scary. I’m still 20 years old (oct 3rd i’ll be 21!!) and living my best life, traveling, smoking weed, enjoying my life & my 20’s. Until I found out I was pregnant. Every single thing changed. When I found out I was pregnant it was like the world stopped, time slowed, and shit became real.

I was scared shitless. Me having a baby?! I’m t w e n t y years old. I can barely take care of myself. I can’t save money!? I can cook and clean, yay me! But my dreams aren’t accomplished yet, MY goals aren’t accomplished yet. I’m still in college, I still haven’t had my first legal drink, what is happening? Am I ready? Oh I debated this for weeks.

I knew in my head since finding out I was pregnant in April I wouldn’t abort because 1. I scared myself into it & 2. my boyfriend (now husband) was okay with keeping it or not keeping it. I thank him for being there to calm me down & be my support (but I mean did he even have a choice? lol)

How I found out you’re probably wondering? Cleaning my room . I call it spring cleaning I love to clean my room top to bottom every other week or so, found a pregnancy test – was gonna take it as a joke because we had been trying for monthsssssssssssssss & NOTHING happened. So I said outloud mainly to myself: ” i’m gonna take the test then smoke a blunt ” excuse my blunt-ness (hehe) but it’s the truth. The stick showed pregnant I got off the toilet so quickly, ran to the room & facetime’d my boyfriend (now husband) * for the sake of the post i’ll call him boyfriend for now * I showed him the test & he was on his way to work & couldn’t stop smiling.. me? crying my life away.

I wasn’t ready, I was scared to be a mom.

But, I decided after the second dr visit I would keep it. This was MY human.

Here’s the first two pictures I ever took after finding out I was pregnant:

I guess I was doing a little too much considering I did not even know if I was 4 weeks however, I had a feeling I was. I was 6 days late on my period (however that was typical) and figured somehow someway we did the deed in the ending of March that made alll of this a reality. My reality of it all. It was true. Come to the realization a few days later, I was actually 4 weeks.

A book I immediately bought: what to expect when you are expecting & their app in the iphone appstore, which ended up connecting me with the December 2018 mom’s group.. holy shit did I feel confused but did not realize this was ONLY the beginning of my journey